1 July 2003
"As I drove the family van down to Chambersburg today, I looked into the rearview mirrors, and saw my little sisters just sitting in the backseat reading, with not a care in the world. It seemed to me it wasn't too long ago that was me in the backseat with lil' bro Chris. How time flies by. Years, with 365 or 366 days in each of them seem to be simply a background now. A hopeless, meaningless jumble of numbers. My true and meaningful past is made up of a patchwork of memories that now seem more real than the numbers-- 1991, '92, '93, '97, '00, etc. Some memories make me laugh. Others make me grimace. Still others make me cry. How is it that I took life so carelessly for granted? I thought life was free. My biggest concerns used to be does "pretty Dana" really like me? Why do I have to clean my room? Am I the fastest in my class? How long can I hang out in the restroom at school before the teacher comes in to yell at me? Now it's all different. Well, not so different as more serious."
14 June 2003
"Growing up. Why? And why is it so hard to do? To deny my foolish puerile tendencies and pleasures, realizing that they are nothing more than left-over adolescent emotions-- the last remnants of a simple child-hood empty of worries or concerns. I now find that I must stay and "face the music." Turn and deal with my problems bluntly, realistically, and many times on my own. The fear of parents has translated from accidents like breaking a light-bulb into denting my brother's truck pulling out of the gas station. The cold, biting reality that nothing is free comes raining down on me in a hail of stinging costs and expenses. Time, which only a year ago I seemed to have such an over-abundance of, now is fed continuously into the depths of ravenous creatures like work and sleep. Friends become closer and more real in my life and yet create more conflicts emotionally. Freedom increases, and yet with freedom comes more bondage-- the bondage of responsibility, work, and money.
Many scars have been left on my heart, but there are two healers from the beginning of time that have worked better than any tonic or potion ever prescribed. These two healers are time and love."
"As I drove the family van down to Chambersburg today, I looked into the rearview mirrors, and saw my little sisters just sitting in the backseat reading, with not a care in the world. It seemed to me it wasn't too long ago that was me in the backseat with lil' bro Chris. How time flies by. Years, with 365 or 366 days in each of them seem to be simply a background now. A hopeless, meaningless jumble of numbers. My true and meaningful past is made up of a patchwork of memories that now seem more real than the numbers-- 1991, '92, '93, '97, '00, etc. Some memories make me laugh. Others make me grimace. Still others make me cry. How is it that I took life so carelessly for granted? I thought life was free. My biggest concerns used to be does "pretty Dana" really like me? Why do I have to clean my room? Am I the fastest in my class? How long can I hang out in the restroom at school before the teacher comes in to yell at me? Now it's all different. Well, not so different as more serious."
14 June 2003
"Growing up. Why? And why is it so hard to do? To deny my foolish puerile tendencies and pleasures, realizing that they are nothing more than left-over adolescent emotions-- the last remnants of a simple child-hood empty of worries or concerns. I now find that I must stay and "face the music." Turn and deal with my problems bluntly, realistically, and many times on my own. The fear of parents has translated from accidents like breaking a light-bulb into denting my brother's truck pulling out of the gas station. The cold, biting reality that nothing is free comes raining down on me in a hail of stinging costs and expenses. Time, which only a year ago I seemed to have such an over-abundance of, now is fed continuously into the depths of ravenous creatures like work and sleep. Friends become closer and more real in my life and yet create more conflicts emotionally. Freedom increases, and yet with freedom comes more bondage-- the bondage of responsibility, work, and money.
Many scars have been left on my heart, but there are two healers from the beginning of time that have worked better than any tonic or potion ever prescribed. These two healers are time and love."
No comments:
Post a Comment